new zealand coffee review (archive)

"What would you like?"
"Flat white, please"
"Small or Large"
"Small please."
Flat white comes back in a big cup.... "Oh, do you have bigger cups than this then?"
"No, we only have one size"
Hmmm.
The slice of quiche I want heated is whisked away round the corner and stuck in a microwave. Didn't appear to be time to unwrap the glad-wrap around it, I never knew glad-wrap was microwave safe.
It comes back, with little gobs of melted glad-wrap on it like colourless snot.
"Um... you shouldn't have microwaved that with the glad-wrap on it, can I have another one please"
"No it's fine, see" (whilst picking the biggest two gobs off)
"I'm not eating melted plastic, can you get me another one"
"Look, its fine"
"Forget the quiche then"
He vanishes out back and confers with someone, then comes back and takes another slice from the display cabinet. This comes back from the microwave wrapped in glad-wrap again. I think it's very odd they've wrapped it back up after heating, but decide not to argue the point.
Later, in the car, I realise the quiche is barely luke warm, and that what he'd done was stick it in the microwave with the glad-wrap still on, but only for half the time.
The coffee is like a warm milkshake.

Recommended I suppose, if your idea of a bit of fun is on the submissive side of the scale

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